It’s been a little while since my last blog, I would love to write more but there have been so many things going on that it has been difficult to find the time. Which is a wonderful problem to have for someone in my position, and something that I am grateful for. It’s very important to me to stay in touch with you all and so I have found a few hours to put together an update.
So what have I been working on I hear you ask… The first thing to tell you about is probably the most serious. I’ve been in discussions with my various medical teams about whether or not I should have a tracheostomy. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a procedure which places a ventilation tube directly into my trachea (windpipe), bypassing my mouth and nasal passages.
Why now? Well, my mouth and nasal passages don’t really do anything of use anymore. I can’t eat, drink, speak or express anything. In fact they pose more of a risk than anything. Since I can’t control the production of my saliva anymore or manage it in my mouth: there is a real risk that I could aspirate saliva and develop a life threatening chest infection as a result. So bypassing that area definitely seems to have some benefits.
However, actually undergoing a tracheostomy procedure comes with its own risks, particularly recovery. It’s also necessary to think about the reality of life with a trachy, which is not simple for me or my care team. We ultimately came to the decision that a trachy is not for me. We are going to be more proactive in the management of my saliva and stay on my non-invasive ventilation set up.
This has all been quite difficult for me mentally. When I began my MND journey I was very honest with myself, I accepted the decline I was going to experience and researched the interventions which would be available to me. Did I want to live with:
- A Ventilator - Yes
- A Wheelchair - Yes
- Hoists - Yes
- Having others drive my chair - Yes
- Only being able to communicate with my eyes - Yes
- Being able to eat through a tube - Yes
- Requiring 24 hour care - Yes
- A Tracheostomy - Yes
So I had always envisaged that at some point I would require and have a tracheostomy. For me it was always a life extending intervention. Going through this process with my team and finding out that it was not going to be appropriate for me has been difficult to accept. But I’m pleased to say that I now fully agree with the decision and am feeling positive about the future again.
There is something else that strikes me about the list above though. The Tracheostomy question is the last one. I have made and implemented all my options. That’s a scary thought. I was however very encouraged by my respiratory consultant who told me that he “knew of patients who had survived for many years in my situation, and there was really no way of knowing how long I might continue.”
My response? “I’ll show you then,” and that I will.
In other news! I’m going on a little holiday to London in a couple of weeks. I am very excited to be going to the Just Giving Awards at the Roundhouse on the 18th of September. I have been shortlisted for the Outstanding Commitment award from a pool of 18,000+ nominees. Thanks to everyone who cast a vote for me, I'm trying not to get too excited and for once I am glad that I can’t really express with my face: my loser's face would be Horrendous!
In other unpublicised news I am delighted to let you know that I have been regionally shortlisted for the top fundraiser award at this year’s Pride of Britain Awards! Keep your eyes on ITV Central news on the week commencing 16 September to see my nomination film and find out if I can win!
I have also been organising the celebration event for our amazing Fifty50 fundraisers. We launched the Campaign in October 2023 with the goal of raising £25,000. I am ecstatic to report that with over a month of the Campaign still to run our total raised (including Gift Aid) stands at over £36,000!! Thanks so much to all the fundraisers and to the over 1200 people who have made donations.
The event should be lots of fun, I’ve been hard at work organising some fun activities and little surprises, including the official announcement of my next fundraising challenge! (It’s a biggie)
Thanks for reading as always even as this one has felt more like a newsletter than a blog (weirdly listening to editors today…)
Sam x
907 comments
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